Irresistible
by A.J. Mitchell
Summary: Xander puts on some new cologne and suddenly Buffy is acting very differently towards him.
1. Chapter 1

**IRRESISTIBLE******

by A.J. Mitchell 

Disclaimer: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. 

Rating: R (violence & implicit sex) 

Pairings: Buffy/Xander 

Timeline: This story takes place after the end of Season 6. 

Spoilers: Anything up to and including the end of Season 6. 

Summary: That woud spoil the fun. 

Author's Note: This story is my own concept of what could have happened after "Grave", the second part of the season finale for Season 6. Thoughts are shown in italics. And thanks to Lori Bush, whose stories inspired me to write some of my own. 

Feedback: Please feel free to send me any comments you have on this story. slayer_scribe@hotmail.com 

* * *

CHAPTER 1

The bell tinkled over the door as Xander Harris walked into the Magic Box. He was there to pick up some extra stakes for the patrol that night since it was his turn to accompany Buffy on her rounds. He looked around quickly scanning the shop and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't see anyone. He didn't want to run into Anya; he didn't have the time for another argument. All they seemed to do anymore was insult each other and argue about stupid little things, but then those stupid little things always turned into an argument about the wedding. He didn't need that right now. All he wanted to do was grab the stakes and go meet Buffy for patrol. He crept across the shop trying to make as little noise as possible as he headed for the back training room where the weapons were kept. _So far so good,_ he thought as he reached the door at the back of the shop. One more quick check behind him and Xander slipped into the back. He checked all the boxes and the weapons chest with no luck. _Anya__ must have moved them, damn!_ He trudged back into the shop without bothering to check first and walked right into the one person, or demon rather, that he didn't want to see. "Oof!" Anya gasped as she stumbled back a few steps, dropping the books she was carrying. She looked up from the floor and her mood shifted as she glared at Xander. "Hello, Xander," she said curtly. She bent down to pick the books up and Xander moved to help her, but she shot him another glare so he remained where he was. "Are you here for a reason? Or is this just another pointless wandering in the life of Xander Harris?" He paused for a moment to get his temper in check. He didn't have the time to get into another argument with her and besides he _was_ here for a reason. 

"No, Ahn. Actually I came here looking for the extra stakes for patrol tonight, but they don't seem to be where they're supposed to be." Okay so there was a little edge to his voice, but he couldn't control that. Anya huffed and she stood up with her armload of books and walked over to the large round table in the middle of the room where she set them down again. She turned to face Xander, 

"I moved them. This is my shop and I needed to put something else back there, so I put them in Giles' old office behind the counter." Abruptly she turned again and started to sort the books, so Xander went to find the stakes on his own. As he walked in he marveled at how cluttered the little office was. He had no idea that Giles was such a pack rat. There were boxes all over the place filled with paper and books and bottles and all number of different objects. So he began the daunting task of looking for the stakes. It really didn't take too long since Anya had only put them in there recently. He picked them up and turned to leave the room when he noticed a bottle sitting in one of the open desk drawers. He picked up the bottle, shook it and heard the swish of liquid inside it. _Hmmm…__ I should have figured that Giles kept some cologne in here, for all those times when you just have to smell your best while battling evil._ Xander smirked at this and pocketed the bottle as he walked out of the office. Now he just had to get past Anya without an argument. He walked by her without a word and was heading towards the door when she turned to his back and called out. "Did you find them?" He stopped and closed his eyes. He turned to face her. 

"Yeah, I found them, but I have to get going. I can't be late meeting Buffy-" 

"Yes of course, I wouldn't want you to be late for Buffy." Her tone had taken on a distinct harshness to it. One that Xander was quite familiar with and he knew that a fight was inevitable. "Always running at her beck and call, huh Xander?" 

"You know that's not how it is, Anya." She put her hands on her hips and stared him down. 

"Oh isn't it?" The fire in her eyes burned as she spoke, "You'd do anything she asked you to do. You've already done more for her than you ever did for me." Her voice kept rising as she continued, "You still love her, don't you? That's why you wouldn't marry me! You're still in love with Buffy!" Xander had heard enough and he didn't have the time to hear anymore. 

"Think whatever you want to, Ahn. If that's what it takes for you to feel better, then go ahead and tell yourself that I didn't marry you because I love Buffy!" He froze as soon as the last words left his mouth. Suddenly he couldn't speak, his mouth was dry and his tongue felt thick. "I have to go." He mumbled and then turned on his heel and walked out of the shop into the dwindling daylight, leaving Anya there fuming and glaring at the space where he had been. 

* * *

Xander walked along the street quickly, half trying to get to Buffy's before nightfall and half trying to outrun the uncomfortable feeling he had in the Magic Box. Finally he had to stop and he leaned against a lamp post so he could try and clear his head. _What the hell was that? What happened to me? I was just arguing with Anya like always and then I just couldn't say anything. I mean Buffy had nothing to do with why I didn't marry Anya. I didn't because I didn't want that future I saw to come true. I didn't want to hurt Anya. I didn't want to let Buffy die… Was that it?_

He shook his head and stared up at the sky. _No, no, that couldn't have been it. I got over Buffy a long time ago. I know that she didn't love me so there was no point in my loving her…no point… I'm not still in love with Buffy…I'm not…Still in love…With Buffy…Am I?_ Xander shook his head again realized that the street light above him had come on. It was night and he had to get over to Buffy's fast. There was no time to go home and change out of his work clothes like he'd planned, but he didn't want to show up smelling like sweat and sawdust. Then he remembered the bottle of cologne he had in his pocket. He pulled it out and splashed a little on and took a sniff. It smelled kind of musky, but decidedly better than what he smelled like a moment ago. He put the bottle back in his pocket and kicked it into high gear to get to Buffy's, pushing his earlier thoughts to the back of his head. But one of them floated back up as he ran: _Do I love Buffy?_

* * *

Buffy was sitting around the living room fiddling with the stake she was holding, waiting for Xander to show up. She sighed. He was late again. It didn't happen too often and she could forgive him. She knew he had a job and other obligations so if he was occasionally late for a patrol it wasn't a big deal. She sighed again and checked her watch. It wasn't a big deal, but it was a little annoying. She was about to call his apartment to see if he'd fallen asleep when he walked in the front door. "Sorry, Buff. I dropped by the Magic Box to get some stakes and…well Anya and…" he trailed off and shrugged, but Buffy knew what he meant. She got up off the couch and smiled as she walked over to him. 

"It's okay Xan. But we do need to get going now." She tossed him the crossbow that was on the coffee table as she went out the door, he followed close after. 

"Right behind you." He glanced down, "And what a behind it is." Buffy turned and gave him "the look". He put his hands up in defense, "Whoa! Kidding, kidding." She shook her head and turned back. Changing topics seemed to be the way to go so Xander asked, "Did the Dawnster get off alright?" 

"Sure did," Buffy said. "It'll be nice to have her out of the house for the weekend. No complaining about my cooking." Xander chuckled at that which earned him a punch from the Slayer. 

"Ow!" he said, rubbing his shoulder as they walked on towards the cemetery. 

* * *

An hour had gone by and nothing had jumped out and gone "boo" yet. As they walked along Buffy thought she heard a noise from a nearby mausoleum and motioned for Xander to join her behind a gravestone. They waited in silence, senses peaked, muscles tensed and Buffy couldn't help noticing Xander's new musky sent. Well actually she'd been noticing it since he came to the house to get her. In fact, now that she thought about it, she couldn't help noticing a lot of things about Xander. _When did he get so…yummy!_ She blinked as she gave herself the mental equivalent of a bucket of cold water in the face. _What was that? Xander? Yummy?_ She looked over at him, squinting in the darkness. _I mean he's not as gawky as he was in high school. He's gotten more mature and definitely more stylish. And he's still got that wonderful sense of humor._ Buffy smiled to herself as she remembered the countless times that Xander had made her feel better with one of his jokes. He could always make her smile, even when she thought she didn't want to. As they waited her thoughts continued to drift. _And he's become quite the looker too. I can see why Anya thought he had potential. He's got that handsome-rugged look going, with that little bit of stubble on his face. Sexy. And with all the work he does on the construction crew he's really filled out. Just look at those muscles. Mmmm…strong arms…chest…back…and that butt…_ A dreamy look passed over her face. 

"I don't think there's anything in there, Buff." Xander said turning to her. "Maybe we should move-", his thought was interrupted when Buffy practically leapt on him and crushed her lips against his. She pushed herself into him, wrapping her arms around him as she kissed him with a ferocity that she'd never displayed before. Xander didn't know what was going on, but for the moment his brain had ceased to function and he was acting on pure instinct. He kissed back, mirroring her efforts. Their mouths opened allowing their tongues to explore, darting in and out with passion, their hands groping and sliding all over each other. Xander moaned softly as his lips kept moving, devouring her, tasting her. Buffy's hand moved down over his chest and kept going until it rested on his crotch and immediately the moment was shattered and Xander pushed himself back. "Whoa! Buffy! What're you doing? What are we doing?" In that brief instant Xander came back to his senses, but Buffy didn't. She moved against him again, brushing her lips along his neck, planting little wet kisses along as she went. _What the HELL is going on?_ Xander panicked. There was no way he could physically stop Buffy from doing what she was doing, Slayer strength and all, but he had to think of something before she did something she was going to regret. He had to think of something, yes. And fast. Thankfully a solution came right then, in the form of two attacking vampires. 

The mausoleum they had stopped in front of was not empty, as Xander had thought. There had been a couple of vamps inside robbing corpses for whatever they could find. They emerged from the building only to see a young man and woman making out behind a gravestone and figured they'd have a quick snack. Too bad for them that they didn't look closer. If they had they might have avoided being turned into dust. At least for that night. They pounced on Buffy and Xander, knocking them apart. One vamp went straight for Xander while the other one charged at Buffy only to be knocked aside. The first vampire was hovering over a disoriented Xander ready to take a bite when Buffy yanked him away. Xander got up to see Buffy and the vamp locked in combat, then out of the corner of his eye he saw the other one get up and take off across the cemetery, probably to get some friends. Xander was sure that Buffy would be fine with just the one vamp so he checked to make sure he still had the crossbow slung over his shoulder and ran after the fleeing vampire. 

Buffy held the vampire by his shoulders and he by hers. They staggered back and forth trying to push the other away, but neither of them seemed capable of gaining the upper hand. "You know, this isn't getting us anywhere," Buffy commented. The vampire just snarled at her. "Oo, good come back. You should write pithy retorts for a living…Or, I guess _un_-living." Buffy rolled her eyes at her own bad joke. She was getting as bad as Xander. Still they struggled and Buffy was starting to get annoyed. "Okay I've had about enough of this," she pushed herself backwards pulling her knees in against herself letting the vampire fall towards her. As her back hit the ground she released her grip on his shoulders and pushed up against his chest with her feet, straightening her legs and sending him flying, headfirst into a nearby grave stone. She jumped back up to her feet and cartwheeled over to the prone figure of the vampire, pulling out her stake as she landed in front of him. One quick crouch, one quick stab and she was standing up again just as the soulless bloodsucker crumbled to dust at her feet. She looked around for Xander, but couldn't see him anywhere. She also noticed the absence of the second vamp and put two and two together. _I should find him just to make sure he isn't in any trouble._ And so she picked the closest direction to where she'd seen Xander last and set off. 

Xander had chased his vamp clear to the other side of the cemetery and he was running out of breath. _Geez__! You'd think with all the exercise I get almost every night, not to mention at work…that I'd be able to keep up with a vampire…_ But then he did just run across the _whole_ cemetery at top speed and he was lacking any kind of superhuman powers. _Well on second thought, maybe I'm not doing too badly after all. But I've had it with all this running._ He stopped and leaned against a tree and tried to control his breathing as he raised the crossbow to the level of his eye. Thankfully his memories from when he was soldier man came in handy in situations like this one. It only took him a few seconds to aim and pull the trigger and as he watched, the arrow whizzed through the air and lodged itself in the vampire's back, tearing through layers of muscle until it pierced the creature's heart and turned it to dust. Xander closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He knew that Buffy would come looking for him once she was done with her own vamp, but he didn't know what to expect when she found him. 

When he talked to anyone else he always had a witty remark, or deadpan joke to deal with any situation that might arise. But when he tried to deal with his own thoughts and feelings Xander Harris had no jokes to use on himself and sometimes that made it all the harder to even acknowledge them. But now he had to. He had to try and make sense of what happened before Buffy caught up to him, so he had at least some idea of how to handle himself. Buffy had kissed him. _Buffy_ had kissed _Him_! He had always dreamed of that moment from the first time he saw her and literally fell for her. And, granted, the moment itself wasn't what he had expected, but the experience of kissing her had been more incredible than he had ever imagined. He couldn't deny his own part in what had happened, he kissed her back when she pressed her lips to his and he'd felt his heart swell up and… He shook his head. How could he still have feelings for her _that_ way? She'd rejected him when he'd asked her to the Spring Fling. He'd moved on, dated Cordelia, almost married Anya, he was over Buffy Summers. Or was he? He slumped against the tree and closed his eyes again. He was tired. He was confused. And he really didn't want to have to deal with this right now. _But you have to!_, his mind told him. _Fine.__ I guess I'll have to start with-_

"Xander!" His head snapped up as he heard someone call his name. No, not just someone. Buffy came jogging up from behind him, "Xander, are you alright?" He straightened up and put on his nonchalant grin before he turned to her approaching figure. _And what a figure!_ He shook the thought from his head and leaned cockily against the tree. 

"What's the matter, Buff? You don't think I can handle one little old vamp?" His tone was jocular, but his eyes betrayed the pain he felt at Buffy's question, because it showed that she still didn't think he could hold his own. Luckily she didn't see it the look and stopped a few feet away from him. 

"Of course, I know you can, but I'm still allowed to be worried about one of my best friends, aren't I?" Xander nodded and then there was a rather uncomfortable silence as both of them thought about what had happened before the vampires attacked. Neither of them knew how to breach the subject, so Buffy, in true fashion, decided to avoid it for the time being. "Hey it's going to be dawn soon," she said checking her watch. "What do you say we call it a night and head to home?" Then as she realized how her last question sounded she quickly added, "Each to our own homes I mean." She hoped he didn't see the blush creeping into her cheeks, but Xander just nodded in agreement. So they bade each other good night and went their separate ways. 

* * *

Xander laid awake in his bed staring up at the ceiling. It had been an hour since he had gotten home and crawled into bed and although he was tired he just couldn't fall asleep. He had too much on his mind. If nothing else he needed to be sure of his feelings for Buffy, if any. He closed his eyes and braced himself for what he was about to do. Then he reached down inside himself to his heart and then navigated his way to a little corner of it that he had locked off years ago. In his mind he swallowed deeply and froze. Could he really do this? There was only one way for him to find out if he was still in love with Buffy. _Here it goes…_ He opened the proverbial door to that long forgotten part of his heart and was completely unprepared for what came rushing out at him. 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

The sunlight filtered into the room through the curtains and was just beginning to touch the golden hair spread out on the pillow when Buffy woke. She blinked and rolled over so the sun wasn't in her eyes. She didn't want to get out of bed. She had made a decision last night to go and talk to Xander about what happened, but now she was having second thoughts. She wasn't sure what had happened herself. She knew that one minute she was concentrating on patrolling for vampires and the next her head was filled with all of these thoughts about Xander… Well not all at once. She'd been having similar thoughts all night, but she didn't know where they came from. She'd never thought of Xander in _that_ way before, so why all of a sudden did she now? Did she? She hauled herself out of bed and into the master bathroom to have a shower. The hot water and soap were not as distracting as she had hoped and her mind kept racing as she lathered and rinsed and repeated. First she needed to decide exactly how she felt about Xander. He had been her friend for so long now that he'd become almost like a brother to her, but then you don't have thoughts like that about a brother. Unless something was seriously screwed up in your head. 

She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower and into a warm, fluffy towel. But why shouldn't she have feelings for him? He was the one who was always there for her, no matter what. He had become kind of distant when he got together with Anya, but then she'd had Riley and been pretty distant herself. But even then when it had been important he'd been there. He'd been there for her when Angel left. He'd been there when her mother died. He helped take care of Dawn and convinced Willow to fix the BuffyBot to keep up appearances after she…after the thing with Glory. He'd been the one who called the ambulance and stayed with her after she'd been shot by Warren. He was sweet, and caring, and he'd grown into a very good looking man, she had to admit. He had changed from the geeky guy who used to trip over his own feet when he saw her, into the kind of guy that Buffy had always seen herself ending up with; at least before Angel came along. After that Buffy had left all her other dreams behind, the ones for any kind of a normal life, or a normal relationship. After Angel it had been Riley, a nice, sweet guy, but also a demon-hunting commando. She wasn't even going to think about the thing with Spike. That had nothing to do with love, just a confused and lonely girl's cry for help. None of it was exactly normal. She sighed and went through her closet for something to wear. No, her life was nowhere near normal…and Xander understood that. He'd been right there with her since she moved to Sunnydale. He knew what her life was like, the things she had to do, the things she had to face and he had stuck with her through all of it, he knew all that…and…maybe he alone knew what she needed when she came home from all that. Her face turned pink as her mind wandered to those more romantic, more intimate thoughts. _So how do I feel about Xander?_ she wondered as she finished getting dressed. She pulled her hair into a loose ponytail and went downstairs. The kitchen was empty which was just as well. Buffy was glad that Willow was still asleep since she really didn't want to talk about what was bothering her and she knew that her redheaded friend would see something was wrong and ask about it. 

_Yeah, Will, I kissed Xander last night and now I don't know if I'm in love with him, or if I'm just going crazy._ She gave a frustrated sigh and went to go out the back door, paused, and then went back to the refrigerator. She scribbled out a quick note to Willow, telling the witch where she'd gone and then walked out of the house into the bright morning sun. 

* * *

Xander walked up to the front door of the Summers house and quickly rapped on the door before he lost his nerve. After last night he had to talk to Buffy. He had to tell her. It was only right. He gone soul searching and found…well, he found what he'd known would be there all the time. He did love Buffy, but he found it was not the schoolboy crush he had been expecting. Although it had been more than that when he locked it away, but still the intensity of what he felt surprised even him. He had loved Buffy, quite a bit actually, when he was in high school. Through Cordelia and through his date with Anya to the prom he still loved her, but then things had changed. He ached for her when Angel left after the Mayor's botched attempt at eating the entire town as a giant snake. She was hurting and he knew that what she needed most was a friend. So that's what he was for her, a friend. And then things with Anya had progressed and Buffy found Riley. Xander knew that things would be better at that point if he just shut out any romantic feelings he had for Buffy, so he did. And they had stayed shut out during his entire relationship with Anya, but that had been over for some time and then Buffy had kissed him and he began to wonder if those feelings were still there. The short answer was, they were, but they were not the same. It had taken him most of the night to come to terms with what he found, because it was so very different than what he'd been expecting. His love had gown, matured, become more well-rounded. He'd watched all the things that Buffy had done and had gone through and like a fire in a forge those things had tempered his love, given it perspective. He knew how strong she was and how if something horrible happened that affected her she didn't want to be pitied. Xander's heart had learned things like this and incorporated them into the love he felt for her so now it was a more mature love, one that wanted to be there for her when she needed it and one that wanted not only to make her happy, but to try and give her a degree of the normalcy she so desperately needed in her life. 

Xander sighed. _Just because I understand what I feel, doesn't make it any less complicated,_ he thought as the front door opened to reveal… "Willow?" 

"Hey Xander." the redhead greeted cheerfully as she moved back to let him step though the door. 

"Uh…is Buffy here?" 

"Nope. By the time I got up she was gone. Want something to eat?" If Xander had been a dog his ears would have perked up at the mention of food. Willow giggled to herself, in all the time she'd know him, Xander had never turned down the offer of food. They walked into the kitchen and Xander went to the pantry while Willow went over to the fridge. 

"Before I forget, Will, I'm returning this." he said laying the crossbow down on the kitchen counter before turning his attention back to the pursuit of food. In any other house that would have looked strange, but not here. 

"Oh! Buffy left a note." Xander turned around at the sound of his friend's voice; his mouth full of dried cereal, the open box in his hand. Willow laughed, "It says she went over to go talk to you." Xander suddenly had trouble swallowing his mouthful of food. "I'm sure she'll be back soon, you may as well wait here for her." 

"Uh, thanks, Will. I'm just gonna go use the facilities." 

"You're always welcome to." she said as he left the kitchen to go upstairs. Willow got the orange juice out of the fridge, poured herself a glass and wondered why Xander was acting so jittery. 

Xander stared at his reflection in the mirror over the sink. He had to get a grip. Buffy had gone to talk to him, just like he had come to talk to her and when she got back they'd talk. The butterflies in his stomach refused to stop fluttering though, painfully reminding him that she probably wanted to talk to him about the exact opposite thing he wanted to talk to her about. He took off his jacket and saw that all his nervousness had caused him to sweat a lot and he knew that when that happened he could really start to smell. He thought of searching the cupboard for deodorant or something when he felt the bottle of cologne in his jacket pocket. He must have left it there from the previous day and for once he was thankful for his rotten memory. He put a bit of it on, since it was such strong stuff that's all it took, and then went downstairs to wait for Buffy. He found Willow sitting in the living room reading a book, her breakfast obviously over with. He stood on the bottom stair and just looked at her and smiled. 

It had been six months since Tara died and Willow was finally getting better, not just from the evil magic, but from the grief of losing her lover. Giles had taken her away with him for a few months to England to see some experts the Council had and they had helped her with the worst of her addiction while teaching her how to control her power and draw her magic from pure sources, like nature. When she came back she was more like the old Willow, but she was tired and most nights she cried herself to sleep. Then she started to get better. It was a slow process, but Xander and Buffy had been there to help her and now she seemed to almost be back to normal, or at least as normal as a good witch could be. Xander was glad. He walked into the room and sat next to Willow on the sofa. She put her book down and smiled at him. He smiled back at her. "How you doin', Will?" 

"A little better every day, Xander. Thanks for asking." Then her nose wrinkled up and she sniffed the air a few times. "What is that smell?" 

"Oh, probably the cologne I have on. Does it stink?" Willow laughed at the concerned look on her friend's face. 

"No, it smells…really nice actually." Xander felt a little concerned when he saw Willow just stare into space for a second, but then the moment passed and she was grilling him. "So what's eating you today?" 

"Nothing." Willow fixed him with her best stern look, which was about as effective as a stern look from a chipmunk. 

"I can tell when you're lying, Alexander LaVelle Harris, so spill." Xander cringed and chuckled at the same time. He hated it when anyone used his full name, but it was kind of funny, Willow trying to go all tough on him. He looked at her for a moment and tried to decide if he should tell her about what happened with Buffy in the cemetery and the conclusions he'd reached. She was his best friend, together since the sandbox. Well, if he couldn't talk to Willow about it, who could he talk to? So he started to relate the former night's events. When he reached the part about Buffy kissing him he just couldn't tell her, so he skipped over that and went straight to the vampires. Willow sat the whole time nodding and never breaking eye contact with him. When he finished he fidgeted with a throw pillow that he'd pulled into his lap during the course of his story. He needed to tell her the part about him and Buffy and his feeling for her. He worked his tongue around in his mouth trying to figure out the best way to phrase himself. Finally he spoke up, "Willow, there was a part of that story I left out." He looked down and kept his eyes on the throw pillow. "See before the vamps got the jump on us, Buffy and I-" 

"Have I told you lately how hot you are?" Xander's head snapped up. 

"What?!" Then before he knew it Willow was on top of him forcing her mouth against his. This was worse than Buffy and even more confusing. Xander tried to talk, but succeeded only in sputtering a few words. "Wills! What! Hell!" He tried to push her off, but found it a slight challenge. She was heavier than she looked. Xander's brain was in overload trying to comprehend just what was going on. Willow who he'd know since she was in diapers was shoving her tongue down his throat. Willow who had gotten over her crush on him when she met Oz. _Willow who is GAY!_ his mind screamed. And then the front door opened and Buffy walked in. 

* * *

Buffy had gone to Xander's place and found that he wasn't home. She figured that she'd see him at some point, but it drove her crazy that she couldn't talk to him right then. Somewhat dejected she went back home again, hoping that Willow was at least out of bed because now she really needed someone to talk to. She arrived home and found the front door unlocked and walked in. She heard the noises coming from the living room before she saw what was going on. She couldn't believe what her eyes were seeing. Xander. And Willow. Kissing. Very passionately too it seemed. Her mind stopped working and she couldn't comprehend, her system was in shock. "Oh, Xander!" she sobbed and fled out the door. The tears stung her cheeks as she ran down the street. She didn't know where she was going, she just knew she had to run. She had to run. She never heard Xander call to her and she never saw him run out the door after her, leaving Willow, confused and shaken in a heap on the living room floor. Just another day of weirdness and angst in Sunnydale. 

* * *

Anya was taking inventory when the telephone rang. She scrambled over to it, because every call was a potential customer. "Good afternoon, Magic Box! Where supplying your needs is our pleasure, for a price." 

"Oh, uh, hello Anya." said the flustered British voice from halfway across the world. 

"Oh, Giles…it's you." Anya said, not bothering to hide the disappointment in her voice. 

"Good to hear your voice as well." 

"Well I thought that you might have been a customer, but you aren't." 

"Uh, quite. I was just calling to see how everyone is doing." She could almost hear him polishing his glasses in the background. 

"Well I'm doing very well. I sold a very rare crystal the other day, for quite a lot of money." 

"Uh, well that's very good for you, I suppose… Uh and the others?" Anya was upset that Giles didn't show more interest in her sale. It really was quite a difficult sale. 

"I really don't know. The only person I've seen lately is Xander and from what I can tell he's fine. Now back to me and my selling of things." 

"Uh and why did Xander stop by the shop?" asked Giles, desperate not to have to listen to Anya's tales of entrepreneurial greed. 

"He just came by to get some stakes." And then almost as an afterthought, "Oh and he took that bottle of cologne from your desk. I noticed it was missing when I was cleaning up. I really should charge him for it." 

"What bottle of cologne?" 

"You know the one in the top right hand drawer." 

"Are you sure it was the bottle from the top right hand drawer?" 

"Yes," Anya didn't know why Giles sounded so concerned. If he'd liked it so much he should have taken it with him to England. 

"Anya I need you to listen to me very carefully. That was not a bottle of cologne. It was the pheromone extract of a Bul'roth demon." 

"Oh, well then I certainly should charge him for it." 

"No, you don't understand." Giles said getting very irritated. He just couldn't comprehend how Anya managed to miss the point of anything anyone said almost all of the time He continued, "The pheromone of this particular demon is very potent. Any female who is exposed to it for more than a few minutes, the pheromone, not the demon, is irresistibly attracted to it, or whomever its odor is coming from." 

"Oh." Anya was beginning to see that this was about to turn into a problem. Giles went on, 

"Now if Xander thinks that this is cologne it stands to reason that he intends to put it on. If he does any woman who is around him for a length of time will, well, uh, become incredibly attracted to him and most likely inclined to act on that attraction to a very extreme end." Anya blinked, 

"In English, Giles?" 

"Uh, any woman who is exposed to Xander long enough if he is wearing the pheromone will most likely force herself on him and, uh…not take no for an answer." 

"And that could be very bad for Xander," Giles couldn't tell if it was a question, or a statement. He decided to treat it as the former. 

"Yes, it could, in fact, prove to be fatal to him, so Anya you have to find him and, uh, dispose of that bottle…Oh and warn him about the effects of the pheromone, yes." After a few more words had been exchanged Anya hung up the phone and closed up the shop. She was just locking the front door when Willow ran up to her, panting and out of breath. 

Willow had come to her senses moments after Xander rushed out the door after Buffy and her first instinct was to panic. She couldn't believe what she had done. She certainly didn't have romantic feelings for Xander anymore, she was gay. She sat on the floor, her head swimming with hysteria and confusion. She didn't understand any of it and then Buffy had come in and… Buffy! And then Xander had followed her! Willow picked herself up and went out to look for the both of them, to try and explain what must have been a misunderstanding, although she wasn't sure how to explain, or really even what had been misunderstood that made Buffy leave in tears. So Willow ran to the Magic Box, thinking it was the first logical place to look and instead had run into Anya who, it turned out, was looking for Xander herself. Willow explained what had happened to her and Anya explained about the call from Giles and suddenly all the confusion made sense, about what happened with Willow anyway. They still had no explanation for Buffy's obviously adverse reaction. So they both set off to find Xander and Buffy, hoping that they weren't too late to warn them. 


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Twilight was settling down over Sunnydale casting a dim bluish haze over everything as the last bit of light struggled to get out before the sun went down. Xander had searched all of the obvious places for Buffy, but she wasn't at the Bronze, or the Coffee Shop and he was pretty sure she wouldn't have gone to the Magic Box since Anya was never one for comfort. He sighed and trudged on through the cemetery only half paying attention to where he was going. It didn't really matter if he did or not he could find the place he was looking for with his eyes closed. He had gone there enough times himself. The sky was growing dimmer by the minute, but there was still another ten minutes, or so of daylight left so Xander picked up his pace, wanting to find her before dark. He emerged from a small cluster of trees and he saw her, right where he expected to. He mentally kicked himself for not thinking of this place first, it was only logical. When a young woman was having any kind of emotional crisis in her life there was only one person she would turn to: Her Mother. 

Buffy knelt on the ground next to Joyce Summers' grave, not crying anymore. She had done that bit already. Her hand rested on top of the marble stone that bore her mother's name, her head pointed down to the base as she sought her mother's strength and wisdom to help her understand this new wrinkle in the fabric of her life. She had run here from her house and nearly collapsed on the ground when she got there. Her emotions were running high and that took a lot out of her, despite her Slayer powers. It had hurt her so much to see Xander and Willow together, in _her_ house no less. She had gone out to talk to Xander so she could try and sort out her feelings, but seeing the two of them together had just made everything more complicated and now she had even more feelings to sort out. _Just once, why can't one little thing in my life be simple?_ She examined her thoughts from earlier and she couldn't escape the truth that he had always been there for her and he'd never asked for anything in return. It was like just being there was enough for him. And that was when her heart broke. How? How could she have missed it all these years? It was right in front of her, staring her in the face. Love, real love, had come calling in the guise of a Xander-shaped friend who had come to mean more to her than she had ever been willing to admit before. Whether it was because of stubbornness, or her own self-absorbment she didn't know, but she saw it now. Xander loved her unconditionally, the kind of pure love she had been searching for while she had been with Angel and Riley. Now she was trying to figure out how to tell him. She knew that it would come as a shock to him and he wouldn't believe her at first, but she would make him believe, she wasn't about to lose him now that she had just found him. A rustling of leaves from over her shoulder made her whirl around, stake in hand only to see Xander walk out from the trees with concern in his eyes. He stopped just short of Joyce's grave and they just stared at each other, neither one wanting to take the first step, even though they both knew it had to be done. Xander closed his eyes and licked his lips and just as he opened his mouth to speak the full moon rose overhead and a pack of vampires descended on them. 

* * *

Without speaking the pair instinctively knew what to do. They stood back to back as the group formed a circle around them and moved in slowly. Buffy had the trusty Mr. Pointy in hand and a few more stakes in her jacket for good measure. Years of living on the Hellmouth had made Xander the model of preparedness. The Boy Scouts had nothing on him. He pulled a stake from his back pocket, then suddenly wished he had brought the crossbow, or an axe. They each took out the first couple of vamps with ease, but that just served to make the other ones smarten up and revise their strategy, which meant it was also time for Buffy and Xander to revise theirs. Their eyes locked and without a word being spoken a plan was formed and approved. Rather than attacking one at a time the remaining vamps all charged towards them at once. With their backs still together Buffy reached back and locked her elbows with Xander's, then when the vampires were close enough Xander leaned forward slightly, causing Buffy to be pulled up onto his back. She stuck her legs straight out and tugged on Xander's arm, the signal for him to start spinning around. As he did the oncoming vamps were kicked out of the way by Buffy's feet as she spun around with Xander. A few of them managed to get thrown back and impaled themselves on some handy broken tree branches leaving only dust in their wake. When their little maneuver was complete Xander let her go and they stood side by side, ready to take on the last four surviving vampires. But it was not to be. Observing the many scattered piles of dust around them the lingering vamps decided that discretion was the better part of valor and high-tailed it out of there leaving Buffy and Xander alone once again. 

They brushed themselves off and turned to each other only to pick up where they had left off, wallowing in the uncomfortable silence that seemed to stretch between them like an impassable river. But this moment, like the last, was to be short lived, because what Giles had neglected to mention to Anya was that in addition to attracting women, the pheromone Xander was still carrying in his pocket, also attracted other Bul'roth demons. 

* * *

"Are you sure that you should be doing this?" Anya asked. She and Willow were back in the Magic Box sitting on the floor with a variety of dusts and powders spread around them that Willow was mixing into an ornate bowl. They had realized just how futile it was trying to search for Buffy and Xander on foot after checking his apartment and her house again just in case. That was when Willow suggested doing a locator spell to help them find them. Everything she needed was stocked at the shop so back they went, all the while Anya reminded herself that she should get a car…or at very least learn how to drive one. She was still very skeptical about Willow doing any kind of magic, but a small part of her figured that she should at least _try_ to have faith in the witch. 

"I'm sure, Anya. It's okay, it's nothing big. I was able to do these kind of spells back in England with the Council's supervision and nothing bad ever happened." Anya chewed on her lower lip nervously and crossed her fingers as Willow dropped a single grain of white dust into the bowl and chanted the spell as it flared into a brilliant white light. Suddenly on the floor between them, what looked roughly like a map of Sunnydale appeared and on it were two glowing dots. The dots were both in the same vicinity, actually they were right next to each other. Willow looked down and smiled, pleased that it had worked. "It looks like they're in the cemetery and doin' just fine." 

* * *

Buffy fell back onto the ground with a thud. The demon had seemingly come out of nowhere and just started attacking them. It was big, really big 8, or 9 feet tall with thick orange skin and horns protruding from its head, arms, legs and back. _Becasue_, thought Xander, _you can't have a demon without horns, or that wasn't butt-ugly either_. He swung his fist around and connected with the demon's stomach, one of the only spots not covered with horns, and then he winced in pain. Hitting it had done more to hurt his hand than the demon. The creature retaliated by picking Xander up by the front of his shirt and throwing him to the ground where he landed right beside Buffy. When the demon had appeared they'd had no weapons other than stakes which they quickly found out did no good against the demon's thick, leathery skin and again Xander cursed himself for not bringing an axe. The only thing they could do was fight it hand to hand, which was swiftly turning out to be an inefficient plan. They were getting nowhere fast. Buffy staggered to her feet and charged at the demon again, this time landing several blows to its midsection, but again it did no good and the demon slashed at her with its arm sending her sprawling against a grave stone that crumbled beneath her with the force of the impact. 

Xander's first impulse was to go to her and see if she was alright, but he knew if he did that the demon would get them both, so he tried to lure the creature away to give Buffy some time to get a second wind. He waved his arms around wildly chanting, "Hey there ugly, come and get me!" The demon snarled and turned its back to the fallen Slayer as it began to take slow lumbering steps towards Xander. _Okay, good, I've got its attention…Now what do I do?_ He was totally at a loss. He could just stand there and make witty comments to it, but that wouldn't do him any good when it decided to rip off his arms like the wings off a fly. He could run and hope that it followed him, but there was always the chance that it might stay and go after Buffy and he couldn't let that happen. _I have to do something. I can't just let it kill the woman I love._ So he chose to fight. He lunged at the demon, trying to tackle it, but as his arms wrapped around its body the horns on its side sliced into him. He let out a cry of pain, but kept moving forward until he head-butted it right in the chest. The Bul'roth was knocked back a bit, still on its feet and angry now at the man-boy who had tried to attack it. Before Xander knew what was happening the enraged demon threw a hard uppercut to his chin, ripping his shirt and tearing several gashes in his chest. The blow sent Xander flying though the air and into one of the nearby trees, which knocked him unconscious. 

Buffy shook her head and tried to stand up, but the pounding in her head forced her to wait for a moment. Her vision was a little blurry, but it cleared as she blinked her grogginess away and she tried to stand again, this time supporting herself with what was left of the grave stone. Once on her feet and fairly stable she looked over and her eyes grew wide as she saw the scene before her. Xander was lying, slumped against a tree with fresh wounds bleeding bright red under the light of the moon. He wasn't moving, but Buffy tried to assume the best, that he was just unconscious…not dead. Then she saw his chest rise and fall, very faintly, very slowly, but it had happened, which meant he _was_ alive. Buffy's hear sang with joy when she saw that and for a moment she thought that all was right with the world. And then she saw the demon slowly advancing towards her fallen friend. Then there was nothing in Buffy's heart, but a blind, white hot rage. Her eyes blazing she tore off a chunk of the ruined grave stone beside her and stalked towards the demon. She wasn't very fast, her own injuries had taken a lot out of her, but she was still faster than the Bul'roth and she managed to get herself between it and Xander. The demon threw back its head and roared, thrusting its chest out and beating on it with its fists. It was huge. It was fierce. It was powerful. But Buffy felt no fear, no doubt. She was fighting now with all her heart and all her soul. She was fighting with the passion and the spirit of a woman in love. "You want him," she snarled at the demon in a voice so full of vehemence she almost didn't recognize it as her own. "Then you have to go through me." The next moment passed in a matter of seconds, but to Buffy it seemed to move in slow motion. The demon advanced on her, moving just enough to close the space between them. Her eyes narrowed into cold slits blocking out everything else but the oncoming threat. She raised her hand up and smashed the piece of stone she held into the side of the creature's face. It made a horrible cracking sound as it broke its jaw and a squishing sound as it tore open the side of its face. As the monster stumbled back, it raised its hand to cover the gaping wound on its face and that left its middle open and vulnerable. Buffy pulled back her hand and dealt the final blow. She thrust her arm forward with all the strength she gained from her love and with the combined weight of the stone fragment she punched a hole right into the center of the beast and all she could think was: _No one is going to take Xander away from me. I love him._ She withdrew her hand tossing the stone to the ground and shaking off any demon goo she might have brought with her and watched as the demon fell to its knees, before uttering one last guttural breath and burning up until only a congealed puddle of slime was left where it had stood. 

She turned and ran to Xander, still unconscious by the tree. She dropped to one knee, trying to catch her breath as she looked him over. Pain welled up inside her seeing him like this. She stroked the side of his face, wiping away some of the blood from a cut on his forehead, speaking softly to him. "Xander?…Xander, please wake up…please?" Slowly his breathing became more regular and his eyes fluttered, not opening, but showing that he was at least somewhat aware of what was going on around him. Buffy lay down next to him and took him in her arms, cradling him and rocking him ever so gently, trying to coax him awake. Finally his eyes opened and he saw Buffy there holding him looking much the worse for wear and his heart ached for her. He struggled into a sitting position, checking as he did for any broken bones. Thankfully there seemed to be none. He turned to Buffy and managed a clumsy and horse sounding, "Hey there." She was so glad to see that he was alive that all she could do was smile at him and he smiled back. 

* * *

That was how Willow and Anya found them. Huddling together under a tree in the cemetery, both bloody and beaten, but at peace and happy for the moment. The two girls rushed up to them. "Are you alright?" Willow asked, her eyes wide with concern. Xander cracked a grin and replied in as much of an off-the-cuff tone as he could muster, 

"Sure Wills. This is my favorite way to be, all sore and with the bloody clothes." Willow laughed in spite of the situation, as did Buffy. 

"What happened?" Anya asked. Buffy started, 

"Well there were a bunch of vamps, but we took care of them in pretty short order," 

"And then this big ole' demon showed up and kinda got the better of us." Xander continued. Willow took a quick look around the immediate area and although she saw the signs of a battle she saw no demon so she asked, 

"What happened to it?" Buffy grinned, 

"Actually Will, you're standing in what's left of it." The witch stepped back and examined the substance that was now stuck to the bottom of her shoe. 

"Ewww." Buffy and Xander both laughed. Anya helped Buffy to her feet and both of them pulled up Xander who winced as he stood, clutching his hand to the wounds on his chest. Buffy looked at the angry red slashes with concern. 

"We need to get those taken care of." Xander looked over at her. 

"Same goes for you. Slayer healing can only do so much." They started to walk off with their friends behind them when Anya remembered why she'd gone looking for Xander in the first place. 

"Do you have that bottle you took from the Magic Box?" she asked him. With a little bit of effort Xander pulled it from the pocked of his coat wondering how his demon ex knew he had it. Anya took it from him, "This little thing has caused enough trouble for one day." Xander and Buffy looked at her puzzled. Anya then proceeded to explain what Giles had told her, with Willow taking over to explain how that affected what had happened between them at the house. Xander nodded. Now the events of the past two days made much more sense. Buffy walked looking straight ahead trying to process what she was hearing and what it meant. They said goodbye to Willow and Anya and walked on to Xander's apartment to try and patch up some of their wounds, their hearts growing heavier with every step they took. 

* * *

Buffy sat back on the couch as Xander came out of the bathroom with the first aid bag in hand. It was a little better stocked than most kits of its kind, but then it had to be considering the kind of things they had to take care of with it. He set it down on the floor and gave Buffy a once over, trying to assess exactly what he needed to take care of. She had taken her jacket off at the door which left her wearing her tank top. With the impartiality of a doctor he pulled up her top to get a look at her midriff. Her bruises had already started to fade a little and would be gone by morning, the same went for the one or two cracked ribs he felt as he ran his fingers gently up and down her sides; they had already started to knit themselves back together. He turned his attention to the things that needed his immediate attention. There were some fairly deep gashes on her stomach from where the demon had backhanded her and her shoulder had been cut up from the rough edges of the broken grave stone, not to mention the cuts on her hand from clutching the jagged piece of stone. He pulled out the disinfectant and started to work. He swabbed each individual cut and scrape bringing the occasional hiss of pain from Buffy's lips. Once that was done he proceeded to bandage them up. Her hand and shoulder were easy enough, but when he got to her stomach he paused as he felt his mouth go dry as his impartiality left him. Her belly was flat and taunt, the skin so smooth… He licked his lips and took at deep breath as he tried to get himself under control, but one rogue thought escaped: _God…She is so sexy…_ His fingers moved slowly, softly brushing against her skin as he wrapped the bandage around her. He thought he felt her breath in sharply as his hands glided over her belly, but he chalked it up to the pain she was in, she was wincing because he had inadvertently brushed one of her wounds. 

Buffy inhaled suddenly as she felt Xander's gentle touch on her belly. He hadn't hit any of her cuts, it was just the feeling of his fingers against her skin, his hands on her body and she could feel herself start to flush. Thankfully he finished before her body could betray her. They switched places and Buffy pulled off his shirt exposing his chest. She looked away as she put his shirt to the side so he wouldn't see the thoughts going through her mind. She turned back with the disinfectant and cleaned the wounds on his chest. They were the only major ones he had. The ones on his arms were small and shallow and the cut on his head had already scabbed over. Aside from some bruises on his back that was all that was wrong with him and Buffy thanked God for that. She didn't know what she would do if Xander ever got hurt badly…well besides killing whatever it was that had hurt him. Her hands moved over his pecks as she traced the scratches with the swab, feeling their hardness under her fingers. She lowered her head and licked her lips, closing her eyes and forcing herself to focus. As she started to bandage up the wounds she looked up at him and started to speak. "Xander I need to talk to you about something." He closed his eyes and nodded, 

"I know, Buff. Don't worry about it, you don't have to say anything. You don't have to say anything about the other night, Anya explained it. You were under the influence of that demon scent stuff and you couldn't be held responsible for your actions." His heart broke as he said this, knowing for certain that she could never feel for him the way that he felt about her. Buffy was hurt at his words, but then she could understand why he said them. He didn't want to hurt her, or to be hurt himself, but she needed to tell him how she felt. 

"Xander," she said softly as she tilted his head up so he looked at her. That one word said so much, at least to her. It spoke of the feelings she had deep inside her for this man. It told of the desires in her heart of hearts. But she knew that Xander couldn't hear all those things and she would have to explain it to him. She just didn't know how to start. "It may have been that demon juice that made me…do what I did last night, but once I did I started thinking about some things." she paused unsure of just how to go on. While she tried to gather her thoughts Xander spoke up. 

"It's okay, Buff. Really I understand…and if you want me to stay away for a while than I will. Whatever you need." 

"What are you talking about?" she asked as confusion swirled through her brain. 

"It's just…," he stammered, "I understand if you want me to leave you alone for now. I know that you don't need this cluttering up your life again." She stared at him completely puzzled. _What is he talking about? I don't need _what_ cluttering up my life? Again?_ Then, suddenly, she understood and her mind flashed back to a day when she was sixteen and Xander had stood in front of her and stammered in much the same way he was doing now. When he had asked her to the Spring Fling and she had turned him down. She heard his words again echoing in her head, _I know that you don't need this cluttering up your life again_. But there had been Cordelia and Anya, he didn't feel that way about her anymore…but… 

"Xander," her heartbeat quickened and her breath caught in her throat, "do you still love me?" After that there was nothing but silence. 

He couldn't bring his eyes to meet hers. He didn't want her to see the tears standing in them. He didn't want her to see the truth about what she had asked. He couldn't tell her. If his heart broke again he wasn't sure if he could survive it. But he had to say something, _She_ was waiting and he couldn't deny her anything. "That was a long time ago, Buffy. It doesn't matter now…but I'll always be there for you…if you need me." She could hear the pain in his voice and she couldn't bear it. She wouldn't let him pass her by. Not this time. 

"But it does matter." she said. "It matters because…I love you too…" her voice faded off in a whisper as she said the last three words. He tried his best not to cry, not now. He shook his head causing the tears to shake free from his eyes and fall glittering to the carpet. He choked back a sob and said, 

"No Buffy, you don't. Ahn told us it was just that stuff. It was irresistible. You couldn't help what you did, you don't need to try and make me feel better about it by saying this." His voice was shaking uncontrollably now. Buffy felt her own heart breaking. How could he not believe her? But then…why should he? She had brushed him off for seven years now. Treating him more like a piece of furniture than a man and ignoring his feelings for her own selfish reasons. All of this suddenly welled up inside her and the dam broke. 

"Damn you, Xander Harris!" she sobbed as her own tears now streamed down her face. "Why can't you believe that someone is capable of loving you like that? Why can't you believe that I do?" He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, her words steeped with passion now. "We were different people then, Xander. I was a different person. I was so caught up in my own life that I didn't see how I was hurting other people. How I was hurting you. You wore your heart on your sleeve and I stamped all over it and I feel terrible for it now. And there's nothing I can do to change the past, but I'm not that insecure little girl anymore, Xander. I'm a woman who can see the truth for what it is and I know what I want, what I need." She broke down and cried. She cried for all the pain she had ever caused the people she loved. She cried for Willow and for Dawn and her mother and for Giles. But most of all she cried for Xander. Her White Knight. Her saviour. Her love. 

Xander moved off the couch and knelt beside her on the floor and he held her in his bandaged arms. He stroked her hair and whispered soothingly in her ear as she cried her heart out. He loved her so much, but he didn't know how to say it, he couldn't tell her the depth of it, the scope of it, but for once he knew that his doubts didn't matter. He sensed that she knew it all. He drew her close and whispered in her ear all the things that he had wanted to tell her. He told her what he found in his heart and he was not afraid, not anymore. He wiped the tears from her face and looked into her eyes and gave her his trademark grin and she laughed in spite of herself and then she said seriously, "I love you Alexander Harris." 

"I love you too, Buffy Summers." Their lips met almost of their own accord and this time it was different than it had been in the cemetery. There was still passion, but now it was tempered by love and it was deep and meaningful and Buffy could swear that it touched her soul. After a while they parted. Neither one of them knew how long the kiss had lasted and neither one cared. Buffy stood and took Xander by the hand, leading him towards the bedroom. He stopped for a moment and asked, "Buffy, are you sure?" She answered him with a kiss as she pulled him into the room. 


End file.
